Category Archives: Rants

Hell raisin’

There’s No Crying on Survivor

I don’t watch as much television as I used to because Richard is a remote control terrorist. If I so much as touch the remote, he starts getting twitchy and displaying symptoms of a heroin addict going through withdrawal; including, … Continue reading

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Call Me a Romantic

I watch two hours of cable news every morning to get a jump-start on being irritated for the rest of the day.  Even more annoying than the know-it-all and smug pundits, are the commercials shown that early.  Acne medicine endorsed by … Continue reading

Posted in My Sparkling Existence, Rants | Tagged , | 5 Comments  

Wear Sunglasses, You No-Talent Buffoon

I recently discovered Steven Seagal has been moonlighting as a Deputy Sheriff in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana for the last twenty years.  There is now a reality show called Lawman which follows his antics as he snaps the necks of beer-gutted … Continue reading

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Winning Arguments For Fun And Profit

It’s not necessary to be articulate, intelligent or even right to win an argument. If you adhere to the following guidelines, you are guaranteed the satisfaction of watching your opponent slink off in humilating defeat. As an added bonus, be … Continue reading

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Breakfast in the Twilight Zone

In our house we have what I consider a pleasant Sunday morning ritual. Richard fixes breakfast and then we watch an episode of the original Twilight Zone while we eat. It’s the only meal he is capable of preparing that … Continue reading

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MEN, YOU BETTER PAUSE

Remember back in high school or college or in the parking lot at your job yesterday how paranoid that weed you smoked made you feel? Me either.  I didn’t smoke weed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know about paranoia.  … Continue reading

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I NEVER MISS WORK BUT SOMETIMES I DON’T GO

All right Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my colonoscopy.   That sentence is how I explained to co-workers the reason for missing work Monday.  Their theory was that since Richard moved back in, we’ve been having so much sex I … Continue reading

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BALE OR BILE?

February 5th, 2009 Why do men love Christian Bale? Just mention his name to any male, gay or straight, then glance at his crotch. If it’s not twitching like a Mexican jumping bean I’ll break down and shave my legs. … Continue reading

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